The Hangover

The premise of this 2009 comedy by Todd Phillips sounds like pretty standard, nee boring, fare. In fact, it sounds almost exactly like the premise of the Tom Hanks flick Bachelor Party. A guy’s about to get married. His friends want to give him one last night of wild, crazy freedom. Substitute a penthouse in Manhattan with a penthouse in Vegas and voila. Things get crazier than anyone imagined and the groom barely makes it back in time and, since he cut it so close, he went from potential disaster to hero status. That said, Todd Phillips does arrange the story in unique way and the performances are good. Instead of a straight linear storyline, the movie starts at the end and the viewer, like the characters in the movie, has to slowly figure out what happened the night before. You see, someone slipped them all ruphies and this, mixed with a ton of drinking, led to one crazy night, a total lack of memory about it and more than a little baggage, not the least of which includes losing the groom. The movie is not only finding him but, wait for it, finding each other. Alright, so I’m jaded, but it’s true that most of this movie is pretty formulaic. Still, I laughed and occasionally I laughed alot. Zach Galifinakis is pretty funny and Ken Jeong is freaking hilarious. Long story short, it’s not great, but it’s fun and at times good for a laugh.

Saturday Afternoon

The Maiden Heist

I like heist movies. But you don't need to include "heist" in the title to make sure I know it.

Morgan Freeman, William H Macy, Christopher Walken and Marcia Gay Harden make this a fun afternoon watch. Christopher Walken steals the show and Marcia Gay Harden is a funny addition as the long-suffering wife.

Three men work at a museum and each has a particular obsession with a piece of art. They educate all who come near, then go home to read, obsess, sketch and dream about their art.

When a new curator has a plan to transfer the artwork to a museum in Europe they hatch a plan to create duplicates and switch them out for the real thing during the move.

There are some good slapstick moments in this, but the best part is watching three great actors collaborate and bumble their way through a heist.

SA - watch it if you are a big C. Walken fan, or must watch every heist movie out there.

The Proposition

I've read what seemed like a hundred Louis L'amour novels when I was growing up. I loved the rules of the wild west. The good were good. The bad were bad. Yes, there were some loners but it was typically a white hat/black hat story.

This is nothing like that.

This is a gritty, no holds-barred look at the an Australian outback in the 1880's that is wilder than the wild west. Replace Native Americans with Aborigines, Americans with Brits and Kid Curry with the Burns brothers gang.

The Burns brothers are on the run. Charlie and Mikey Burns have been captured. Charlie is given a deal to kill his older, more violent and notorious, brother by Christmas and spare their lives. The story follows him as he navigates the outback in search of his brother.

The story starts with a violent shootout that sets the stage for living the life of an outlaw being hunted by authorities who want to "tame the land". The violence is short but extreme, much the way it was. Most people don't realize that the gunfight at the Ok Corral only lasted 30 seconds. There is no need for extended and graphic gunplay when the story itself is fascinating, the way it should be.

I love movies that allow you to use your own imagination to fill out a bigger narrative. Movies that don't hit you over the head with a narrator or flashbacks or the montage. The dialogue here does just enough to make an 1:40 feel like a 3 hour epic.

Many stories overlap, the struggle between law and outlaw, trying to establish some British high-class in a rough and violent land, brotherly love and a man tired of running, justice vs town martial law, the list goes on.

Overall a fascinating story, unique music and a glimpse into a time we'll never know.

Best line: "Why can't you ever just...stop me?" - Arthur Burns.

What a loaded line, Arthur knows he is a beast, a ravaging psychopath who thrills in violence, and just wants his brother draw the line for him. For him, there is no white or gray, just black.

Rating: BA. Not many movies can accomplish this.

Grey Gardens (1975)

In 1975 Albert and David Maysles were filming a documentary about the life and family of Jackie-O when they caught wind of an aunt and cousin of hers who were allegedly living in an old estate in the East Hamptons that had fallen into absolute squallier. I don’t mean to imply they lived in a high end home that was dirty, I’m talking straight up, unfit for human habitation level nasty. Diseased animals running around, trees growing in the living room, windows broken, no heat or electricity. Needless to say, the Maysles were fascinated and created a documentary, Grey Gardens, that was so scandalous and popular it essentially created the modern form of the general audience documentary. It’s not just that these two ladies were living this way in this neighborhood, but that they were absolutely bizarre shut-in’s who, despite it being the mid-1970’s, acted like they were high society ladies from the 1930’s, talking about making it big someday as a soft shoe or cabaret act, though neither was anywhere near under 50 years old. They were clearly nuts, but their zeal and their childlike view of the world and society, not to mention their sense of style made them near and dear to the hearts of millions in the 1970’s. In other words, the Edie’s were true originals who were inspirational, sad, strange ladies who seemed just fine to be living in a setting a health inspector described as unfit even for animals and watching the bizarre, endearing duo as they waltz through their strange daily lives is both compelling and repulsive, heartbreaking and heartwarming. This movie was a giant hit and gave birth to the modern popular documentary. After this, docs were shown in regular theaters and not just college auditoriums and high school classrooms. This sparked a wave of interest in this genre of filmmaking that has yet to subside and it is certainly worth your time.

Worth Watching

Slugs

You probably already know what sort of movie this is from the title alone, but here’s another hint, it was made in the 1980’s. Got it? No? Ok, what if I told you the premise is that the health inspector and sanitation commissioner of a small town discover not only is the town built on a toxic waste dump and not only did a bulldozer inadvertently burst a pipe letting out who knows how much of those toxins, but that the toxins have morphed the local slugs into blood thirsty, and quite persistent, mutant killers? Got it now? Well, it is true that little happens in this 1988 flick by Spanish director JP Simon that isn’t right in line with what you’d expect and it’s also true that you’ve probably also already guessed what my rating at the end is going to be, but I will tell you this, it’s not nearly as bad as you’d think. I’ll admit the technical aspects of this flick are weak as hell. There’s a moment when a guy is running in a sewer and it’s obvious the floor is bowing under him (hard to do on concrete). And the audio is so bad that they dubbed over nearly all of it in post and, even with this, it’s still awful, with moments where what the actor was saying at the time of filming is clearly not what was dubbed in. But the acting isn’t terrible among the leads, though it is awful among the peripheral characters. And the stories sort of fun, though the dialogue is almost entirely rubbish. All in all, it’s a fun watch, especially if you like this kind of flick. See, I grew up watching campy gore and this is right up that ally. In fact, I can’t believe I’ve just now come across it. So, if you’re looking for some escape in the form of a gore-tastic flick that clearly spent ninety percent of its budget on special effects and the other ten on things like the caterer, this is the flick for you. If mutant slugs aren’t your thing (which doesn’t make any sense to me), then skip it.

ME

Slugs (The Alternative Take)

So I think it's fitting for my first post on this site to be about an old horror favorite. I don't know why it's fitting, but it sounded like a good intro.

Slugs is a Juan Piquer Simon film about a "nest" of mutated gastropods that are feasting on human flesh in small-town America(?). Mike Brady (no relation) is the town health inspector that coincidentally gets called on to a lot of crime scenes, and notices a disturbing trend of slime trails and large black slugs near the scene. When he finally puts it all together in a "flashback to the same movie" scene, nobody will believe his wild hypothesis except for his sanitation department buddy Don - whose wife (great-aunt?) bears a striking resemblance to Raisa Gorbachev. After a few gritty confrontations with the city council, Mike has to take matters into his own hands - or die trying.

This is one of my all-time favorite monster movies because unlike C.H.U.D., the whole cast and crew seem to really take the concept seriously. Sure there are some tongue-in-cheek moments, but the fact that they seem to be aware of the ridiculous nature of their subject while simultaneously going forward with the project makes me smile. That, and they really work hard at making the possibility scientifically feasible - so that's a good time. That said, it isn't exactly the best example of pacing for a horror flick - a bit slow in parts with some good payoff scenes for those who enjoy a good, sadistic laugh.

Observations from the film:

1. Why use boom mics when we can always just record this in post?
   
2. Mutated slugs have a hell of a grip - don't stick your hands into your gloves without looking.


3. Why buck the trend of 27 year olds playing high school juniors/seniors? It just works.
   
4. Halloween parties are, as suspected, no fun.
   
5. Don't put anchovies in your salad... it just masks the slug parts.
6. If this is "Slugs: The Movie", where is the rest of the franchise?

Best line: "You don't have the authority to declare 'Happy Birthday', not in this town!"

ME

Grey Gardens (2009)

In 1975 Albert and David Maysles were filming a documentary about the life and family of Jackie-O when they caught wind of an aunt and cousin of hers who were allegedly living in an old estate in the East Hamptons that had fallen into absolute squallier. I don’t mean to imply they lived in a high end home that was dirty, I’m talking straight up, unfit for human habitation level nasty. Diseased animals running around, trees growing in the living room, windows broken, no heat or electricity. Needless to say, the Maysles were fascinated and created a documentary, Grey Gardens, that was so scandalous and popular it essentially created the modern form of the general audience documentary. It’s not just that these two ladies were living this way in this neighborhood, but that they were absolutely bizarre shut-in’s who, despite it being the mid-1970’s, acted like they were high society ladies from the 1930’s, talking about making it big some day as a soft shoe or cabaret act, though neither was anywhere near under 50 years old. They were clearly nuts, but their zeal and their childlike view of the world and society made them near and dear to the hearts of millions in the 70’s. 2009’s HBO film Grey Gardens recreates key moments from the documentary but also gives the audience a wider peak into the lives of these two gals. Director Michael Sucsy says his approach was to look at the documentary footage and try to discern what aspects of their story they seemed to think were important and fill those out with back story. So he would show the back story and then follow it with a recreation of the relevant bit from the doc. He clearly has a deep respect both for the women and for the original doc, as his recreation is painstakingly detailed. For example, the ‘perpetual bachelor’ music teacher, who only appears in a portion of the film, wears a diamond ring and the ring the actor is wearing in the movie is the actual ring the teacher used to wear. Some of the costumes worn by Drew Barrymore are the same pieces worn by little Edie. In other words, the production design is really great. That said the very best thing about this movie was Jessica Lange’s performance of big Edie. It is remarkable. In the featurette they put some of the documentary footage of Edie against footage of Jessica Lange’s portrayal thereof and it’s truly uncanny. She really nails this role and it’s almost scary how well she captured this bizarre woman. The Edie’s were unique, inspirational, sad, strange ladies who seemed just fine to be living in a setting a health inspector described as unfit even for animals and watching this replication and expansion of the amazing Maysles doc is certainly worth your time.

S'Good

The Baker

I hate to do this, but then again, with this type of comedy you really need to be a fan of the ‘type’ to like this movie. The Brits have a history of making movies about an outsider (or a problem that comes from outside) who unexpectedly makes his or her way into a small, countryside English village. Once there, the villagers break out of their ways (in which they are way set) and band together to do something uplifting and bond strengthening. This was done well in movies like Saving Grace, Greenfingers and Calendar Girls and mocked well in Hot Fuzz. The Baker fits comfortably in that lineage. This 2007 comedy by Gareth Lewis tells the story of Milo (played by the wonderful Damien Lewis, Gareth’s brother), a professional hit man who gets caught letting a ‘job’ get away. The Company interprets this as him losing it and considers him a liability that needs to be taken out. A friend within The Company tells him to go out to his country place in a small village way outside of London. Once he gets there, however, he finds a bevy of nosy neighbors and discovers that the cover is that of a baker, which poses a problem as he doesn’t know the first thing about baking. Over the course of the next hour or so he gives baking a real chance and also takes a chance on relaxing and enjoying the town. Problem is, the town is actually a hot bed of jealousy and in-fighting and they’re all too happy to try and use Milo’s services once they realize he’s not exactly a baker, but THE baker (a name they give him as though it’s his moniker). He learns he really doesn’t want to be that anymore and they learn that they ought to be grateful for each other instead of petty and jealous. Oh, and he just so happens to meet a quirky local vet played by the beautiful Kate Ashfield (of Shawn of the Dead) who seems to just be perfect for him. Now he just needs to convince The Company to stop chasing him, avoid the hitman they sent after him, persuade the villagers to get along with one another and maybe, just maybe, get the vet to overlook his past and fall for him. Watching Milo pull it off is fun, funny and easy to watch, even if it’s pretty predictable, formulaic fare. So, if you’re in the mood for something sweet and funny with a positive message, this is your flick. If you want something gripping and original, you may want to skip it.
S’good

Clip o' the Week

Three...Extremes

Three…Extremes is a 2004 collection of three short horror films from three of East Asia’s top film directors. It was released as a sort of exhibition experiment, but unlike other kitschy movie experiments of its kind, the filmmakers clearly put a good deal of time and money into these 45 minute vignettes. This means the visuals and the production values are really fantastic. Unfortunately, this doesn’t mean the movies are all that good or all that scary. In fact, I’d say none of them were scary at all. The only one that comes close was the third one, but I wouldn’t describe even it as scary. The bad news is that none of them are all that great or frightening, the good news is the last two (and especially the third) were at least interesting and a little engaging. The first of the three is called Dumplings and is by Chinese director Fruit Chan, known primarily for Jackie Chan flicks and goofy Chinese comedies. It is by far the least worthwhile of the three. Chan is way out of his league here and serves up a dish that’s little more than disgusting and inappropriate. It’s way too on the nose about some of China’s more abhorrent practices and is never, even for a moment, frightening. It tells the story of a washed up actress who is obsessed with regaining some of her youth. She meets an odd woman who claims to have dumplings that will give you otherworldly health and vitality. The ‘scare’ comes when we learn just what’s in those dumplings. It’s too bad all of us watching it guessed it from the very beginning and were yawning our way through the rest. The second is the far better Cut, directed by Korean director Chan Wook Park, who is best known for his vengeance trilogy Sympathy for Mr. Vengeance, Oldboy and Lady Vengeance, and containing the really good performance of Byung-hun Lee. Park has a fantastic eye and clearly a vast knowledge of cinema history. His movies are visually stunning and contain good performances, but their themes are so consistent that they border on straight up repetition. For example, he’s downright obsessed with the themes of revenge and manipulation. His antagonists want to control and manipulate the worlds of their victims, driving the protagonists mad. Here is no different. The director of a film comes home to find an extra who has totally snapped that day. The extra sets up a Saw-esque situation for the director where he must choose to do something awful or else the extra is going to chop off a finger of the director’s wife every five minutes. So, once again, we have a bad guy who attempts to control and his victim like a marionette, quite literally here, and in an attempt to exact some revenge on him. It’s ok and is much better than Dumplings, but it’s still not fantastic or anything. The third is better still and is by Japanese filmmaking badass Takashi Miike. It’s called Box and is about a woman living with her memories of a tragedy that she inadvertently caused as a 10-year-old and that has all but suffocated her ever since. Her obsessions come to a head in a tense, emotional end climax that is clearly stemming from madness. It’s very well shot and well acted. The lead is really fantastic. Sounds great, right? Well, not so fast. The ending is awful. I mean, so bad it made me forget how good everything before it was. It was so out of sync with the rest of the movie that it truly ruined it for me. But oh well. Long story short, if you’re a cinophile and love to at least see what the great minds out there are doing, it’s worth a cursory look, but otherwise, I’d probably just skip it unless you happen to come across it flipping around on some lazy Saturday afternoon.

Saturday Afternoon